Child mouth tells the truth – this old saying has not been around for a long time. Anyone who lives with young children can tell a song about the fact that the offspring always say exactly what goes through their heads.
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Sometimes precocious, sometimes wise, sometimes hilarious, smart children are always happy to share what they think of you, usually without being asked. The funny sayings they utter are pure comedy gold.
Smart children always find the real essence of a situation and then usually name it straightforwardly. After all, they’re too young to be too polite.
1. How cute!
“I was babysitting a girl who thought her mother’s name was ‘sweetheart’ because that’s what her father used to call her.”
I babysit for a girl who used to think her mom’s name was “my love” because her dad said it so often to her and that’s just so cute I can’t
– Katherine Francis (@katjfran) January 21, 2014
2. Selfless child
“My daughter asked me why she couldn’t just quit school. I told her I would go to jail then. She looked me in the eye and said: ‘I’ll come to visit you too.’ “
my daughter asked why she can’t just quit school and i told her it’s against the law and they’ll put me in jail and my sweet sweet child looked me in the eye and said “i’ll visit you”
– CeciATL (@CeciATL) January 28, 2021
3. That will be
“The left is my art. I found the right thing in my little brother’s room. “
4. An early genius
“I made a grilled cheese sandwich for my daughter. She said, ‘That was perfect. I bet you can’t do it again. ‘ Yes, she already knows very well how to get what she wants. “
I just made my daughter a grilled cheese and her response was “this is perfect, I bet you can’t do it twice” so yes, she knows how to play the game
– Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) January 14, 2021
5. Clear announcement
“My 3-year-old asked when he no longer had to listen to me. I told him he had to do this all his life. He looked me straight in the eye and said, ‘All your life.’ Children are really freezing. “
My 3 year old asked how long he had to wait until he could stop listening to me. I told him he had to listen to me for the rest of his life. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, “I’ll listen to you for the rest of YOUR life.” Toddlers are cold-blooded, man.
– Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 19, 2019
6. A criminal mastermind
“My youngest boy cracked the Netflix code that parents can use to restrict which films their children can watch. I’m shocked and impressed at the same time. “
My youngest hacked our Netflix parental code. She put light grease on the remote and got me to input the code when she wasn’t looking. Then she noted the numbers I’d pressed and went through the combinations later. I’m both frightened and impressed.
– Ed O’Loughlin (@edoloughlin) September 6, 2020
7. Never give up and always make funny sayings
“Whenever I get discouraged about something, I think of my 3-year-old vomiting her carrots all over the place and then just saying, ‘I need more carrots.'”
Whenever I get discouraged and want to quit something, I remember the words of my then 3 year-old after she puked carrots all over the living room floor: “I’m gonna need more carrots.”
– Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) January 18, 2021
8. Ouch, that sat
“My daughter was wearing a lumberjack shirt, so I said, ‘Hey, the 90s called!’ and she replied, ‘Yes, because they have no idea how to send a text message.’ Damn it, I’m tired of my kids being smarter than me. “
my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me
– Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) January 29, 2021
9. Eloquent loathing
“Since my 4-year-old learned that it was rude to call your food ‘gross’, he has found creative ways to express his reluctance, such as, ‘It tastes unhappy.’ And: ‘That sends my mouth into space.’ “
having been told that it’s rude to call dinner “gross,” our 4yo is finding increasingly creative ways to express himself
“these tastes ……. unlucky to me”
“this sends my mouth into outer space. (that’s bad)”
“cauliflower is” -[pinches fingers together]- “this much delicious”– Alix E. Harrow (@AlixEHarrow) January 21, 2021
10. The beginning of a really good time
“My little daughter was watching Sesame Street and when a muppet started playing electric guitar, she ran up to me and said, ‘Dad, you like rock music, don’t you?’ ‘Yes that’s true.’ She took my hand and said, ‘Then you’ll love this.’ “
When my daughter was 3 or 4 she was watching Seasame Street in the other room when a muppet started playing electric guitar. She ran in and said “Daddy, you like Rock and Roll music, right?” “I do.” I said. She took my hand and said “I think you’re really gonna enjoy this.”
– Jeff Lyons (@usedwigs) February 8, 2020
11. You can say it that way
“My child got sick and described it like this: ‘My butt did the wrong kind of poo.'”
12. Smart children are sometimes merciless
“My daughter said to me the other day, ‘I don’t like it when you talk.’ Is noted. “
13. Where he’s right, he’s right
“The 3 year old found a glove on the floor and put it on. He asked where the other was and I told him I didn’t know. He called: ‘But I have TWO hands!’ “
14. Hard words
“The little girl I am babysitting asked me if I had a boyfriend. ‘Not anymore,’ I said. ‘A friend is a waste of time’ she said, turned to her little brother and said, ‘You will be a waste of time.’ “
THIS LITTLE GIRL I’M BABYSITTING JUST ASKED ME IF I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND I SAID NOT ANYMORE AND SHE SAID “BOYFRIENDS ARE A WASTE OF TIME” AND THEN SHE TURNS TO HER BROTHER AND TELLS HIM “YOU’RE GONNA BE A WASTE OF TIME ”
– madison (@itsmadimay) December 15, 2019
15. She just loves him
“My 6 year old’s teacher is teaching about Zoom and doing a ‘bring your pets in front of the camera’ game. I got there just in time to see how she dragged in her 2 year old brother and showed him to the teacher. “
My 6yo’s kindergarten teacher was doing a “bring me a ___” game in zoom class and she asked her students to bring any pet animals within reach
And I turn just in time to see my 6yo carrying my 2yo to show to his teacher
– Rin Chupeco (THE EVER CRUEL KINGDOM out now!) (@RinChupeco) February 4, 2021
The funny sayings of these children will certainly be repeated in their families for a long time and will one day be included in a speech at their wedding. After all, future life partners should know straight away what they are doing with them.
Thumbnail: © Facebook / Smart Kid